1. Khaliah Ingram

    Feminism is about more than being pretty or ugly, which is one of the many points these men got wrong. To its core, it is about a woman being able to stand on her own two feet and make/be responsible for her own decisions. I’m just as happy with a woman being a fulfilled housewife as I am with a woman being a fulfilled lawyer or engineer.

    As far as being ‘riled up about being victims of society,’ you needn’t look further than a history book to confirm this. Being second-class citizens in Biblical times, being harassed at the workplace for sexual favors before sexual harassment laws were put into place, getting blamed for getting raped or getting beaten and let’s not forget the sexual objectification women face in comics, cartoons, and video games. And when we speak up against things like sexism and double-standards like this, we’re poo-pooed away, called “feminazis” for asserting there is more to women than just breasts, bottoms, and legs. When we reject the affections of men who we realize are not good dating material, we are called ‘bitches’ and ‘stupid whores’ for having such things as standards. I myself have been called a ‘bitchy, stuck up prude’ for daring to say that my feminist beliefs include waiting until marriage to have sex.

    And here I am getting called a ‘selfish narcissistic family-destroying whore’ by men who don’t even know me, after all the derision I got in high school and college for actively choosing to preserve my chastity? And to make matters worse… You agree.

    You are taking a volatile diatribe and calling it the Truth. Granted, the Truth hurts, but not everything that hurts is the Truth.

    I am a feminist because I not only acknowledge my worth as a human being, but as a woman created by God for the sake of providing comfort and care to my family while at the same time being responsible for my actions. I stand against promiscuity and infidelity. I stand against sexism, misogyny and misandry equally. I despise pornography with a passion. I listen to my husband when he is right and offer my guidance when he is wrong because, unlike what Swanson and Buehner believe, men and husbands are not infallible beings. And, unlike what Swanson and Buehner believe, feminists are not all angry, ugly misandrists with chips on their shoulders at all times.

    College didn’t teach me to hate men, to hate the idea of marrying and having a husband. No. Real life showed me just how ugly it could get. My mother took me and fled from a destructive relationship with my father as he allowed drugs to ruin his life, as he started an affair under our roof because he hated listening to my mother plead with him to stop taking drugs. My godmother was subject to immense verbal and mental abuse from her husband, told that she was worthless without him (and because of her low self-esteem, she believed him for a long time), and insulted his own children so much that one of them went through a suicidal period during junior high school.

    But through that dark period in my life, I realized how illogical it was to blame an entire half of the population for the moral lapses of a few. Plus, God had replaced those bad ones with really great ones, including the one I’m now married to. It’s like He was saying “yeah, they can kinda suck sometimes, but they’re not all that bad.”

    So yes, narcissism and selfishness do destroy families… But you and everyone who agrees with you, even people who don’t agree with you (like me), are just as capable of showing those traits too whether we’re feminists or not.

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