Just when you think you’ve heard it all today… There’s this:
Dr. Laura blames Spitzer’s wife for scandal. – (via Think Progress)
When the wife does not focus in on the needs and the feelings — sexually, personally — to make him feel like a man, to make him feel like a success, to make him feel like her hero, he’s very susceptible to the charm of some other woman. […]
The cheating was his decision to repair what’s damaged and to feed himself where he’s starving. But yes, I hold women accountable for tossing out perfectly good men by not treating them with the love and kindness and respect and attention they need.
Melissa McEwan at Shakesville weighs in:
Secondly, it’s absolutely true that if someone’s (reasonable) needs aren’t being met by a spouse, then something will eventually and inexorably give. But that doesn’t justify cheating; it justifies ending the relationship. That’s true whether it’s husband or wife (or both) failing to deliver; it’s not a one-way street.
But most importantly, this idea that spouses cheat solely or mostly because they are lacking "love and kindness and respect and attention" at home is antiquated horseshit. Yeah, some spouses cheat for that reason. And plenty of others—especially men in positions like Spitzer’s—cheat because it’s exciting and fun and because they are self-indulgent narcissists who are stupid enough to believe they’ll never get caught. Many people who cheat have spouses who dote on them like they’re the very sunshine; sometimes the problem is not a lack of love, but the cheat’s utter failure to appreciate being loved.
Well Put Melissa!
I’ve no doubt Dr. Laura is in possession of the capacity to wrap her mind around these simple concepts, but I guess it’s not as thrilling as being a woman-hating victim-blamer.
I must say, I agree…. and I’m a right of center type of a guy, imagine that!
Others: Jezebel, New York Magazine, Shakesville and ECHIDNE OF THE SNAKES (via Memeorandum)