Others: Primordial Slack
Tag: Humor
Frank J. at IMAO is such a silly man.
In which I lose my distinction of being the most sarcastic blogger on the planet
Jeff Goldstein goes and takes it from me, and makes Wonkette no less!
Good Lord Jeff.… 🙄 No wonder Michelle Malkin is ignoring you! I’d ignore you too. I mean, I could see it now, the poor woman on Fox News; “Hey Michelle, this Jeff Goldstein guy, is he a friend of yours?” 😯
Don’t get me wrong; he has a bit of a point, but the same day?!??!?! Yikes. 😮
I’m just saying.
…….oh and quit working my side of the street! That sarcastic stuff is my gig! 😀
12 is such a lovely number
The Video:
The Story:
Kiam Moriya, from Birmingham Alabama, was born on December 12, 2000 12 minutes after midday, in Bronxville, New York.
“It’s like one minute out of a whole lifetime,” Kiam told AL.com. “You know, it’s all 12s.”
Kiam was not due until later January or early February, but was seven weeks premature, making the birthday all the more remarkable.
Statisticians from the Centres for Disease Control and Prevention said about four million babies were born in the US in 2000, with an average of about 11,000 per day – or about eight babies every minute.
12/12/12 is seen as somewhat of a lucky date, with lots of couples planning to marry on the day.
Now number one on the other hand:
Local Story: Lizard bites man
Wait a second…. Lizard? What the heck was Charles Johnson doing in Michigan?!?! 
I kid….I kid… 
The story comes via Detroit Free Press:
Authorities say a Michigan man has been taken to a hospital after being bitten by his 4-foot-long pet lizard.
The Macomb Daily of Mount Clemens reports emergency workers were called Sunday night to the home in Macomb County’s Lenox Township, about 35 miles northeast of Detroit.
Lenox Township Fire Chief Dennis Fouchia says it’s the first time he’s encountered a reptile bite in his career.
Here is the real funny part of the story, or at least I think it is funny:
The pet owner was expected to be treated and released. Additional details about the man and the circumstances surrounding the bite weren’t released.
Well, let’s see here; the Lizard was most likely hungry and really wanted something to eat and this guys hand — was, um…. Handy? 
Yeah, I know, I’m terrible. Sue me. 
Could not happen to a better bunch of people!
For the longest time, I used to watch this stuff go on and I would never say a word; except maybe to defend someone’s wife. Which I still believe was totally out of bounds to be posting her picture and pictures of his kids, blurred or not.
However, seeing that I have totally divorced myself from the so-called “right” due to the attack on my Father. I believe I can say what I truly feel.
I happen to notice what is going on around in the blogosphere at the moment and all I can truly say is this: It could not be happening to better group of people.
You see, this same dude, slandered me in the past. The second link there, was a serious screw up on my part, I admit that, and I have apologized a bunch of times for it. He was not the only one, a bunch of others have done it too and some of them, and getting their just deserts, as they should. 😀
But, this guy here, threw me under the bus, for no other reason, than to please some mentally depraved idiot, who does not even know me. Then, to try and make up for it, he goes and takes a fairly innocent post and twists it into a bunch of crap that it was never intended to be; and then, acts like *I* am the person with the problem.
So, you know what gents? I have one thing to say about all this stuff that is happening to you all……………….;
KARMA IS SUCH A FUGGIN’ BITCH, YA KNOW? HA!
Give ’em hell Mr. Grouch and don’t quit giving these loser right wing con-job mother fuggers hell until they are ALL under indictment by the FBI! Sitting around making money on a semi-half fake DEAD JEW! WTF?!?!?!?!?!?! 😯
Countdown to being called an a-hole, an anti-Semite, a racist and all that other lame stuff they like to call me…
I got one thing to say to you rich ass honky pukes:
I know what you are thinking:
“Hey! You are white too!”
Yeah, you are correct, I am white. But, you know what? If I go down to Detroit, namely the southwest side. I would be treated with respect, as they know me. If ya’ll white tight-y Sean Hannity types went down there; ya’ll would get your little cracker, Sean Hannity looking asses shot and killed. Let’s just say, it’s the difference between ghetto white and rich suburbia white. 19 years living hard in the big D does have its advantages.
Just sayin’ ya’ll. I’m just sayin’…. 😀
Getting robbed in a jail parking lot?
Alternative headline: “Somebody really, really, really, really, really, really, wants to go to jail so bad!” I mean, free meals, free bed, group showers. Hey, it beats living in the streets. The complimentary forced anal sex might be a bit rough, but you take the good with the bad. 😆 😀 😛 😯
If you cannot be safe in the parking lot of Rikers Island, America is in some deep trouble and we are seriously screwed. 🙄
From a thief’s point of view, the place had a lot of potential.
It was big, with lots of room to work. Rows and rows of cars that almost certainly contained valuables left behind by their owners, more so than on a normal city street. What was more, the cars were almost guaranteed to be unattended for at least two or three hours while the owners were away.
The location’s only drawback: it was the parking lot for visitors to Rikers Island. At the other end of a long bridge sat the huge jail complex that held the inmates these drivers were visiting. That must deter many potential thieves.
But not all.
It was Oct. 7, a Sunday, typically a busy day when family members who cannot come on a weekday find time to visit.
One of them was Ailsa Williams, 39. She was going to see her son, whose name and crime she declined to share in an interview. She had been visiting for months and was prepared for the long day ahead, beginning with this parking lot.
“There aren’t enough spots,” Ms. Williams said. “The ones that are there aren’t outlined properly.” The lot is irregularly shaped, sort of a triangle. The broad end is occupied by an administrative office in a trailer. Below it are narrowing rows of parking spots, ending in the tip, where she found a spot.
She did something no right-thinking New Yorker would normally do elsewhere. She left all her things in the car.
via Unlikely Spot for a Break-In – The Rikers Parking Lot – NYTimes.com.
I hate to might like someone else’s misfortune; but some things are just too funny to pass up. 😀
The Sunday Funnies
Are over at the Reaganite Republican. Some seriously funny stuff there, go check it out.
LAURA INGRAHAM is off the air temporarily
Bet she comes back in a week:
NEW YORK (AP) — Radio talk show host Laura Ingraham is off the air – at least temporarily.
She said Tuesday that she’s leaving her distributor, Talk Radio Network, after more than nine years because her contract is up. Ingraham said she is in discussions with other distributors about her show, which currently airs on 325 stations nationally.
Talkers magazine says the conservative Ingraham is the most-listened to woman on radio, with an estimated 5.75 million listeners a week. Talkers said that ranks her among the top eight radio hosts overall.
In the meantime, she said she’ll keep her opinions flowing on her website, on Twitter and during Fox News Channel appearances.
Good Lord, what will Stephanie Miller make fun of now? 😉
Turkey’s might be people, but they sure do taste good!
Some hilarity from the Washington Times (!):
It is so predictable that only the amusingly named Center for Consumer Freedom, which complains about Mothers Against Drunk Driving, minimum wage, environmental protection, and human and animal welfare groups, could possibly object to People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals‘ (PETA) recent efforts to promote the ever-growing vegetarian food industry and make the world a kinder place for turkeys (Inside the Beltway: “Vegetarians have a squawk,” Nov. 21).
I’ve met turkeys, and they never did anything that merited decapitation. Not harming someone or something is common decency. Being decent should be the norm. If we worry only about seeing our grandchildren grow up, we should remember PETA has a point: It’s never too late to go vegetarian.
KATIE MOORE
Baltimore
I am writing this, because I just finished eating some Thanksgiving leftovers, which were better the second time around.
Turkey’s might be people too, but they sure do taste good on thanksgiving, more so when you have leftovers.
FWIW, I have yet to find a “people” or humans that taste as good as Turkey on thanksgiving. 😉
